She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
