he wants to bone in the snuggie
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize