Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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