do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
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