in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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