this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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