should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize