well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
