porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
The air taste purple.
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