It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
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Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
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His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
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