6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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