I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
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