three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
He passed out mid-signature
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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