Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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