You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
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I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize