Yo dont text me then not text me
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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