i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
