do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
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