Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
