Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
