remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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