Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
