did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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