I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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