Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Randomize
