So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Randomize
