WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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