I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Randomize
