It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I don't deserve a penis
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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