If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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