OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
