Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
