dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
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