K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
