absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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