question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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