So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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