Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
