Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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