her vagine was all disorganized.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
