I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
