Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
