My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I have aggressive nipples.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
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