I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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