Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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