I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Randomize
