no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
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