she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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