he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
I am available for nakedness
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
