thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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