remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
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