saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I need to stop coming to work sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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