fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Randomize
