Banned from zoo.
Again?
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize