apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
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