She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
