I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
